HOW IT WORKS Continued...

Part-Time Pottying

This is not an all-or-nothing endeavor. Working parents, you can do this if it resonates and if you have a relaxed and positive attitude. Remember, this is not potty training as we know it. Instead, it's a process that gently unfolds over many months, based on your baby's own natural pace of development and your ability to "be there" to potty your child at least a few times a day at first, and then gradually more over the months, but never too often to the point where you are exhausted or where your baby is frustrated from too many interruptions. The key is to find a realistic balance in all that you do. Each family proceeds at its own pace.

Pottying doesn't need to be overly time-consuming or to unduly take away from other activities. After all, changing diapers and cleaning dirty baby bottoms take time too, so why not get some elimination in a potty instead?

With or Without Diapers or Nappies

This can be done with or without diapers (called "nappies" in some countries). Many parents use tiny training pants and other specialized clothing. Some leave their babies diaper free at home during part of the day. But diapers are fine too. Cloth diapers tend to speed learning, when compared to disposables, since cotton allows babies to feel and be aware of their elimination. If a family prefers disposables partly or completely in place of cotton, this can work too. In short, it's a lifestyle choice, and there are no "rules" about whether or not to use diapers or to go diaperless.

Potty-Shots

As is the case with all child-rearing practices, there are critics, and I dare say not one of them is truly familiar with this practice, yet they still feel compelled to attack it. Their arguments demonstrate that they have had no in-depth experience with it and that their "expert" opinions are based on misconceptions.

Does it seem strange to anyone that the Western world bases its beliefs about toilet-learning abilities on theories that have no true medical backing? People often ask, "Where are the studies that prove babies have no control before 12 months?" The truth is that no such study has been conducted, yet we are all taught and assured that any attempt at working with infants under 12 months is a waste of time and might even harm our babies. But doctors agree that toilet learning is no more traumatic than any other part of a child's upbringing and that it is only a problem if parents use negative tactics with their children.

There is nothing complex, mysterious or exclusive about this. It is a gentle process that can be implemented in either a logical or intuitive manner, or a combination of both. It can be done part-time or full-time, with or without diapers. Some find it easy to do, others do not. Some find it time-consuming, others do not. There is no requirement to continuously carry or constantly monitor your baby as some have alleged. You do not need to be present for every elimination as some suggest. In fact, accidents and misses are part of the process and gradually decrease over time. This is not about rushing toilet learning or producing "potty prodigies."

People ask, "How long does it take?" There is no fixed time scale, and there are different degrees and definitions of "being potty trained." Healthy babies can signal and communicate about most of their toilet needs around 25 months, some sooner, some later. There are very few hard-and-fast rules except to be relaxed and nonpunitive, and to keep baby safe and comfortable. We are not out to convert the world. We do not claim this is the best or only way. We love potty whispering and want others to know that it's a viable option. Once they have the facts (rather than misinformation), they can then decide if they want to give it a try. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. It's a personal decision. Surely we can be open to more than one way to raise our children. That's all we ask.